The Soft Launch of My Soft Era

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about reinvention — not the dramatic, cinematic kind where you cut all your hair off in a bathroom at 3 a.m., but the quieter, slower version. The kind where you start noticing how your energy has changed, how your priorities have shifted, how your heart wants different things than it did a few years ago.

December is my cammiversary month. I started streaming in December 2015, back when my entire setup could be described as “creative chaos held together by hope.” Those early nights were small and earnest, full of learning curves, questionable lighting choices, and me laughing at myself while trying to figure out what I was even doing.

And back then, I had Mister Shmoo beside me — my constant, sleepy little co-pilot. He was part of that entire first era. The streams where only three people showed up. The nights where I talked too much. The nights where I said nothing at all. He was there for all of it, popping into frame, supervising, napping through my nonsense.

Losing him changed me. It softened some parts, hardened others, and left a strange quiet in the spaces where he used to exist. Grief has a way of reorganizing your insides — not all at once, but in slow, tectonic shifts.

But life isn’t only made of endings. It loops back, surprises you, fills in the empty corners.

And now, years later, Furiosa is back in our care again.

She came into my life a few years into my streaming career — a little whirlwind with her own personality, her own opinions, her own comedic timing. Having her back feels like picking up a piece of my timeline I didn’t realize I’d been missing. She brings new energy into the house, new routines, new joy, new little noises in the background of my workdays. It’s grounding. Sweet. Healing in a way I didn’t expect.

So yes — there’s loss woven into my story. But there’s also return. Reconnection. Continuity. A reminder that life keeps unfolding in ways that are sometimes painful, sometimes tender, sometimes strangely full-circle.

And maybe that’s why I’ve started calling this my soft era.

I’m craving gentler mornings. More creative intention. More projects that feel like rituals instead of obligations. I want this website — and this new chapter — to feel like a studio and a diary had a baby. A place where I can tell stories, show work, share pieces of myself, and let the process be messy and human and queer and mine.

So consider this the soft launch of my soft era.

A little slower, a little wiser, a little more honest.

Rooted in everything I’ve lived through, but not defined by any single moment of it.

I’m excited. Nervous. Ready.

Let’s see where this version of me goes.